Flying Spaghetti Monsterism as an Alternative to the Theory of Evolution

The hard work of Pastafarians was instrumental in making those that wanted to teach Creationism in Polk County, Florida the laughing stocks of their communities and beyond. For a good read sure to make any rational person's day, go here.

The article above also mentioned that while the ugly head of religion masquerading as science has been defeated in Polk County, it's still at large in nearby Pinellas County, Florida. So I took the liberty of writing this following e-mail to the Pinellas County School Board members.

"Dear Pinellas County School Board Members,

Four members of the board, Ms. Bostock, Ms. O'Shea, Ms. Gallucci, and Ms. Cook were recently quoted in the St. Petersburg Times of being in favor of teaching alternative theories to evolution in public schools.

http://www.sptimes.com/2007/12/18/Southpinellas/Origin_theories_clash.shtml

As a believing member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster since 2006, I think it is an admirable move on their part. As Ms. Gallucci was rightly quoted, "students should be given the opportunity to view all theories on how man evolved and let their science background and their religious background take over as to which one they believe in."

I expect that Ms. Gallucci would also insist that equal time be devoted for the theory of creation according to the beliefs of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. Our central beliefs are that the Universe in the beginning consisted of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a Mountain, upon which there were some Trees, and a Midget. While scientific techniques such as radiocarbon dating or fossil records seemingly disprove our religion, we believe that such measurements are not accurate as each and every measurement taken by us are modified by His Noodly Appendages.

Of course, there is absolutely not a shred of scientific evidence in support of our theory, but it's obvious that Board Members Bostock, O'Shea, Gallucci, and Cook have not let minutiae such as that stop them.

Of course, we also expect that these board members will be introducing alternatives to the Theory of Gravitation, Theory of General Relativity, and Electromagnetic Theory, among others and that alternatives to these theories as described by Flying Spaghetti Monsterism will receive equal time to the scientific theories currently being taught.

Remember, as Ms. Cook remarked to the St. Petersburg Times, "To teach one [theory] as if nothing else existed, I think we're doing our students a disservice."

Absolutely, which is why students must know that the reason that large objects exert greater force of gravitation is not due to something silly such as "mass", but because the Flying Spaghetti Monster finds it easier to grip large objects with His Noodly Appendages and push them together.

Kudos to Board Members Bostock, O'Shea, Gallucci, and Cook. As happened to your counterparts in nearby Polk County, I look forward to your becoming the new laughing stocks of the nation. Thank you for spreading some holiday cheer for us to enjoy."

Now, it's up to all of you. If you have the chance, please write the School Board. If you're a Pastafarian, then insist that the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is given due consideration in science classes. If you're not, make up a theory and insist that it be taught. Clearly, as I've mentioned, for the aforementioned board members, scientific proof is certainly not a requirement for what should be taught in science classes.

Sierra Nevada

Today I understood why the mountains to the east of Sacramento are called the Sierra Nevada, Spanish for "Snowy Range". At about 4:45 p.m., I was driving east on I-80 along the causeway across the floodplain that covers spans some 10 km between Davis and West Sacramento, with the setting sun just about the horizon behind me.

With flooded rice fields to either side of me, I could see the modest skyline of Sacramento ahead. The mountains that usually loom in a bluish color ahead were instead capped with a brilliant white from top to about halfway down, proudly showing off the 100 cm plus snowfall they've received in the storms of the past week. The jagged outlines of the mountains were clearly visible with the sun's rays (now almost parallel to the ground) hitting the mountain face and reflecting off at almost a 90 degree angle, creating a beautiful contrast with the orange-blue sky.

For a moment, it did not seem like California. I felt as if I was driving along the prairie heading west towards Denver with the Rocky Mountains behind. But no, this was very much California. So on this shortest day of the year, December 21, 2007, I was once again astounded by California's natural beauty. This state never fails to surprise.

A Small Penstroke for Man, A Great Leap for Mankind

New Jersey became the first state in the U.S. to ban the use of the death penalty and replace it with life imprisonment without possibility of parole through the use of the legislative process. By doing so, New Jersey has now joined the vast majority of civilized societies around the world that have discarded the notion of state-sanctioned murder, i.e. the death penalty, realizing that no one can be declared guilty 100 percent accurately and that the death penalty is one "mistake" that if made, can never be rectified.

I also take this opportunity to remind everyone that this once again marks New Jersey's quiet domination of liberal politics in this country, and along with New Jersey's legislative approval of gay civil unions and forthcoming legislative action on gay marriage, New Jersey is undoubtedly the most progressive state in the country.

I feel the need to mention this because I currently live in California. Californians possess gigantic egos in everything from supposedly how "badass" they are in driving to how liberal they are, flattering themselves with undeserved slogans like "the Left Coast." First of all, Californians need to visit the Phila.-NJ-NYC area to really see "badass" driving in the U.S. and secondly, they are nowhere near as progressive as New Jersey.

Rather than brag about it, New Jersey just goes about pushing back the boundaries of hypocrisy and antiquated policies in a quiet, unassuming manner. More power to it!

My Endorsement for President

Running down to the last few weeks before the beginning of the Primaries, I thought I should add my own endorsement for the world to see. Rather than endorse a member for the primaries, I am going to endorse the top three people I am supporting to become the 44th President of the United States of America.

#1: Former Senator John Edwards (Democrat - North Carolina)

#2: Senator John McCain (R - Arizona)

#3: Senator Barack Obama (D - Illinois)

Any of these men, in particular either of the first two, would make a fine President and are far ahead of their competitors. The media in this country has already chosen a winner who is not among these three. It is my fervent hope that the people of this country reject the media's corporate choice and ensure that one of these three men, that represent change and a break from the status quo, becomes the next President of the United States.

America, Your Choice is Clear

In the Democratic debate in Iowa today, the last before the all-important caucus on January 3, 2008, the candidates were asked what they would do in the first year of their office. Here are the front runners' responses.

Hillary Clinton: Bring the troops home; send bipartisan emissaries around the world and let them know the era of cowboy diplomacy is over; rescind executive orders that undermine the Constitution; end the “Bush war on science” and sign some of the legislation he vetoed, like the one on stem cell research.

Barack Obama: End the war; initiate diplomacy to stabilize the country; review every single executive order issued by Bush and rescind those that would undermine the constitution.

John Edwards: End the war; close Guantanamo; restore civil liberties.

Note the only person to mention Guantanamo Bay and civil liberties, the two points undermining the human rights record of this country. That's why I support Edwards, the only man whose response when presented a thought-provoking question was not just to provide answers that flow with the political winds of this country but to make a statement with conviction on exactly what you believe, though it may not be most popular.

Hillary and Barack, for your information, the very existence of Guantanamo Bay detention facilities undermine the Constitution. Just so you know.

Remember, America is not a democracy, a flawed system that would eventually result in tyranny by the majority. We are a constitutional republic. That means, even if a majority of Americans support something, it cannot be law if it violates the fundamental rights of human beings as enshrined in the Constitution. The detention facilities at Guantanamo Bay violate the fundamental rights of human beings. America should not be holding people for years on end without a trial.

Disregard My Last Post "The Burmese Situation"

Once again, realpolitik wins over truth.

If we were steadfast, we would threaten a boycott of the 2008 Olympics and pass punitive measures against India, China and ASEAN. The gist of the article, that we have no clout in the region, is nonsense. If we wanted to have clout, we would have clout. It would take sacrifices on our part, but we could do something.

But, people of Burma, we care more about cheap goods to increase the luxury of our own lives than we do about your fundamental rights as human beings.

On behalf of western society to the people of Burma, I would like to say the following, meaningless as it may be to you as you suffer unjustly at the hands of a brutal regime.

I am sorry.